I'm healing: a poem & a prayer

I’ve grown so accustomed to master manipulators masquerading as mother figures, soul sisters and iconic inspirations influencing our psyche misusing the nature of their nurture ...

To the woman who has a hard time trusting women

A Poem

Feeding their narcissism labeled as mentorship and women empowerment

rebranding the Ladies Department as 'this ain't your mama's women's ministry'

while perpetrating a mean girls mentality

ministering to the broken while continuing the cycle of brokenness

while claiming it's virtuous

Encouraging us to submit to their will and their way

because they did it this way and that’s the only way

“pretty girls wear pearls”

more like pretty girls pray not prey upon their sister’s pearls

while casting their pearls to the swine for petty pursuits

Pretty faces painted with lies

deceiving smiles 'inquiring minds want to know'

not to help you grow but to slither and whisper

with the poison of gossiping lips

sinking every life on the ship

so entitled negating their power to empower

introducing their trauma to new generations as a right of passage

iron sharpens iron but not with the intent to be a savage

While their lurking eyes monitor to manipulate

inserting themselves to instigate

secretly competing

feeling threatened when asked to collaborate

preaching a love they loosely live

demanding the respect they refuse to give

fueling their feminine egotistical urge to control

'perfectly packaged' a role model lacking morals

All to learn our vulnerabilities and gaslight us back into captivity

of mind

saying we can see but remaining blind

because that's the way it's always been

as a result I've learned to not trust them

my own kind

the woman, the women, the human female kind

I wonder why we have given mere mortals such power and authority?

To the woman who has a hard time trusting women

A Prayer

God, teach us how to discern who means us well and who wishes ill upon us

give us discretion on when to speak and when to remain silent

lead and guide us, even hide us as need be from our enemies

help us to hear from you and know your voice for ourselves

while leading with love, let us be teachable in all seasons

knowing our place in you, in heaven and on earth

learning from our elders as they learn from us

may we honor and respect the wisdom and experience of all who we encounter

understanding that age does not always equate to wisdom and youth to foolishness

May we grow to know what healthy relationships look like and have the courage to forge and maintain them

may we learn to love ourselves so we can love our sisters as ourselves

may we establish and enforce healthy boundaries

God, teach us to forgive and try again

forgiving ourselves for trusting those who betrayed us

forgiving those who betrayed our trust

while we learn the meaning of 'in God we trust'

may our hearts sow the ground for maturity

reaping the fruit of healed roots

instead of the bitter fruit from bitter roots of trauma, pain and power abuse

May we learn that accountability begins with self

self love, self care may we become self aware

may we understand and accept that accountability with and from others requires trust, mutual agreement and reciprocity

anything that is one sided creates an imbalance

God, help us to release the shame of being a work in progress

help us to relinquish the pressure of perfection

When you created us, you created a work of art

a masterpiece learning to master peace from the Prince of peace

holy and divine are the gifts and talents you have generously given to us

show us how to steward them well

as we learn to serve each other well while serving you

Finally, may our insecurities no longer fuel our drive to compare ourselves to and compete with each other. May we confront and do the work to heal our trauma and break our generational curses so our daughters know not of what this poem speaks of.

29 August 2023 Edit:

While on Instagram today I saw a reel by @c.o.gelijah and in his reel he said, “Sorry if the church ever hurt you. That was people not God. Man's failure doesn't equal God’s character.”

I agree with what he said in his caption. I also believe that it's important to state that we still have to heal from the hurt.

Below are my full thoughts -

Godspeed,

SimplyAriRenee